Wednesday, June 4, 2014

...and then....everything seems so trivial....

I am crying, a little, right now. Have been for a couple of days. First, it was because I heard that a beautiful soul was so sick she was in a coma, and now, because she has transitioned. Heaven is lucky to have this woman.

In a world where more often than not, affection is not genuine, hers was. Every time you saw this woman she had a huge smile on her face and hugs to give. When she was at school she waved and talked to everybody in the halls. She reached out to me when I was still the “new kid” and unsure of how to interact with people.

Instead of being sad, I am choosing to live with her spirit in mind. When I first heard she had left her body, I was hit with a massive amount of survivor guilt, as is my habit. “Why did she die, and I didn't?” I let that do its thing for a couple of minutes and then it didn't feel right anymore. She would not want me to curse my life because she gave up hers. She wouldn't. I felt like she was with me at that moment, just saying that it was silly to feel that way and I should live the hell out life and not worry about why I am so blessed.


I am sure God just needs her up there for awhile to boost morale.  

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