Today I feel very alive. I have a lot
of projects this weekend and that is thrilling! IN addition, I am
working on my own workshop at the end of the month. Writing a stress
management workshop is actually very helpful to me at this time,
because I get to instantly check and see how well this stuff works.
I am one of those people who gets super high marks for poise.
However, inside there are three white mice sharing one wheel. MY
heart only beats 60 times a minute, but it feels like there is a
crack fueled drum circle in there with 1000 beats a second. My jaw
clenches, but I relax my face so I don't bite my tongue. Then, I
chew the crap out of my fingers.
Or rather, I used to. Thanks to a
simple NLP trick, I have pretty much gone since last Sunday without
sticking my hands in my face. It's really cool to watch the skin
around my nails heal for the first time since I was eleven! It's
actually more relaxing to not have this nervous habit, or former
coping mechanism.
I believe this will all plinko down
until I am no longer smoking. Smoking is not my hangup, there is a
deep deep oral fixation, maybe I was breast fed, then given a binkie,
I don't know. It doesn't matter either. I could spend all the live
long day looking for causes, or I can just make a choice right now,
to stop. I'm not being trite, like I magically just stop my bad
habits. Oh no no no no no.... What I mean is, once I have spotted
them and named them, they are my pets and I can keep them and feed
them, or I can take them to a shelter or release them to the wild
with my blessings.
You can live in harmony with your
hangups, it's up to you. Maybe you like to think of them as quirky,
or special. Great. When you are ready to let them go, call me.
We'll do a gentle exorcism. You can have wine. :)
Bye, Bye, Baggage! Oh! That's a Kitty!
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